More Stupid Laws about clothes and lack thereof

Women aren't allowed to wear patent-leather shoes in Cleveland, Ohio—the thinking is that a man might see the reflection of something he shouldn't.

the price tag?

In 17th century Spain, it was illegal for anyone other than a woman's husband to see her bare feet. A woman could freely expose her breasts, but feet were considered sexual and had to be covered in the presence of men other than her husband.

In China, women are prohibited from walking around a hotel room in the nude. A woman may be naked only while in the bathroom.

In Oxford, Ohio, it's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture.

webcams too?

An excerpt from Kentucky state legislation: "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she be escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club."

Women can sell items and be topless in Liverpool, England—but only in tropical fish stores.

Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown—if they're nude.

A law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance on a table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two ounces of clothing.

And less than 70 kilo of body mass, one hopes?

Technorati Tags Stupid Law, nakedness,

Career moves?

There are men in Guam whose full-time job it is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. Why? Under the law in Guam, it is forbidden for virgins to marry.

And

In the state of Washington there is a law against having sex with a virgin under any circumstances (including the wedding night).

I see an export industry here, do you?

Both Indiana and Ohio have laws that prohibit male skating instructors from having sexual relations with their female students. This misdeed, called "the seduction of female students," is prosecuted as a felony. This statute applies only to male teachers. It seems female skating instructors may have sex with male students.

There are clearly better places to skate.

Technorati Tags Stupid Law, skate, Guam

Selling it...

In Pompeii, a special law was directed at prostitutes. They had to dye their hair either blue, red or yellow in order to be able to work.

And,

In Michigan a woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.

Coincidence? I think not. "Dahling, I'm just zipping off to the hairdressers again..."
And,

An 18th century French prostitute could be spared punishment if she were willing to join the opera.

hmmm what's was the punishment again?

Technorati Tags Stupid Law, prostitutes,

Not so stupid laws?

In the quiet town of Connorsville, Wisconsin, it's illegal for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner has an orgasm.

What they don't tell you is the rest of the law - if the female partner doesn't orgasm, she is allowed to shoot of a gun. Which leads to law number two:

It's against the law in Willowdale, Oregon, for a husband to curse during sex.

and possibly number 3 (for dutch courage)

Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you—or holding you in his arms.

Technorati Tags Stupid Law, guns, beer

French letters in the USA

Maryland prohibits the selling of condoms through vending machines in gas stations and stores—with one major exception. Prophylactics may be dispensed by a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."

In Texas, no one other than a "registered pharmacist" may sell condoms or other kinds of contraceptives "on the streets or other public places." No, not even physicians. Anyone who tries to make a few extra bucks doing this will be severely prosecuted for the dire act of "unlawfully practicing medicine."

Kentucky and Idaho limit condom sales to medical practitioners and licensed pharmacists, but their license to sell the items may not be hung on a wall where it can be seen by customers.

Maine licenses condom sellers and the license must always be on public display.

Nevada, with 35 legal bordellos, has no condom problem. The use of condoms in Nevada brothels is compulsory.

Technorati Tags Stupid Law, french letter, USA

No sex please, we're dead

It's illegal to have sex with a corpse anywhere in the United States.

Well. Thats a relief. *adds the US as a possible place to die*

Technorati Tags Stupid Law, death, US

No sex on wednesday or friday

The early Christian church forbade couples from having sex on Wednesdays, Fridays and of course, Sundays.

Why on earth....? Oh wait, what time was medieval footy on?

Technorati Tags Stupid Law, church,

No comment

While not as extreme as the ancient Israelite punishment for adultery (stoning), Greek men still had their fair share of discomfort when their pubic hair was removed and a large radish was shoved up their rectum.

In Alabama, it's against the law for a man to seduce "a chaste woman by means of temptation, deception, arts, flattery or a promise of marriage."

No comment from me.

Technorati Tags Stupid Law, radishes, promises

Roman justice

The Romans would crush a first-time rapist's gonads between two stones.

yes!!

Six thousand years ago, Egyptians, the first to punish sex crimes with castration, would completely castrate a male convicted of rape. A women found guilty of adultery would find herself without a nose, the thinking being that without a nose, it would be harder to find someone to share in her adulterous ways.

... unless he had a body odor problem or haliotosis, and knew it. Talking of which:

No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.

Technorati Tags Stupid Law, adultery, haliotosis

The world's oldest profession...

In 100 A.D., the Teutons, an Germanic tribe, would punish anyone caught as a prostitute by suffocating them in excrement.

... they should still do it to practicers of the world's second oldest profession. Politics.

The vow of a Roman vestal virgin lasted 30 years. If she engaged in sex before then, she was punished by being buried alive.

I grew up in Adelaide. Not that much difference really.

Technorati Tags Stupid Law, Teutons, vestal

Want fries with that?

There is, in fact, an Illinois law that prohibits a number of things—one of which is a public erection, another is nude dancing. The prohibition against the public erection has never been challenged in the Supreme Court, but the prohibition against nude dancing has.

Given the size of some Americans, naked public dancing should be punishable by death.

Technorati Tags Stupid Law, dancing, illinois

Not a stupid law?

The T'ang Dynasty Empress Wu Hu passed a special law concerning oral sex. She felt that a woman pleasuring a man represented the supremacy of the male over the female. Therefore, she insisted all visiting male dignitaries show their respect by pleasuring her orally when meeting. The empress would throw open her robe and her guest would kneel before her and kiss her genitals.

Better than kissing the bosses beeeehind, no?

Technorati Tags Stupid Law, T'ang Dynasty, empress

Ancient History

Apologies for not finishing these off - add a comment or email me if you find any more:

The Asiatic Huns punished convicted male rapists and adulterers with castration. Female adulterers were merely cut in two.

Technorati Tags Stupid Law, Huns, adultery